Category: Tarot challenges

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Project Kindling Spread

I’m still working my way through Evvie Marin’s fantastic ebook, Eight Useful Tarot Spreads for Times of Resistance and Change. Today I’m taking the Project Kindling Spread out for a spin!

I’ve been holding off on this spread because I’ve been getting some ducks in a row. Fox and Owl Tarot launches officially – official official! – next weekend. I’m going to open up the shop and start offering readings professionally.

This has meant some behind-the-scenes technical work, and some behind-the-scenes shadow work. (I really love Northern Light Witch‘s Shadow Work Spell Kit, and highly recommend it. I’ll be posting a review, with some snippets from the work I’ve done over this last while, next week.)

I needed to figure out how I feel about money, and about tarot, and about bringing the two together in this way. I needed to figure out how tarot fits in with my other work, because in my non-tarot life, I’m a narrative therapist and I believe deeply the narrative practice of decentring the practitioner and bringing people fully into the centre of their own story. If I believe, and I do, that “you are the expert in your own experience,” then how does tarot fit with that? (It fits beautifully, I think! But I just really had to sit with that for a while and make sure I was fully grounded in my ethics and my focus as I get ready for this launch.)

But this evening, I finally let myself try out this spread!

Focusing on Fox and Owl Tarot as the project I am kindling, I got a reading that is strongly influenced by the work I’ve been doing over the last week and a bit.

Image description: A spread from the Steampunk Tarot deck, with King of Pentacles, Ten of Swords, and Seven of Cups at the centre, The Sun to the left, The Tower to the right, Page of Cups below, and Queen of Pentacles above.

Cards 1, 2, 3 – The sparks: King of Pentacles, Ten of Swords, Seven of Cups. There are the elements that will spark the project into life.

I laughed when I saw the Ten of Swords. It’s true, I am an Eeyore. I bring my despair and my outrage at the injustices so common in our world into this work. I reallly appreciated uncaged-tarot’s recent thread about social justice in tarot, and when I saw this ten, that’s what immediately came to mind. Exhaustion at the many cuts that marginalized communities face. Existential dread. Even a bit of melodrama. But this is not a negative in this context. This is a spark! This is the sharp awareness of injustice and the crushing effects of the kyriarchy on the people I work with.

The Seven of Cups made me pause and think. In this card, I see my indecision, my daydreaming self, my pie-in-the-sky imaginings of what Fox and Owl might end up being. For a moment, I felt myself sinking into judgement and discouragement, but then I thought about how daydreams are beautiful when the spark action. In the moment of imagining so many potential outcomes – will Fox and Owl take off and become a major part of my work life? Amazing! Will I write a book about narrative therapy and tarot? Maybe! Will I develop an entire tightly connected community of fellow Social Justice Mages? I hope so! – and I thought, fuck the judgement. These daydreams are perfect, and they are sparking this project. When they burn down over time, I’ll be left with the glowing coal of whatever lasted. The heart of this will stay, and in the meantime, the daydreams are perfect kindling.

And then the King of Pentacles. I struggle with the King cards in most decks – I am working on a series of posts about how the Next World Tarot queers the kings and gave me my first truly comfortable engagement with that energy. I have found Siobhan’s post on Little Red Tarot about the Kings incredibly helpful, and I came back to it in interpreting this card. Given my interpretation of the Ten of Swords – that this work calls me to be conscious of the cuts and exhaustion of living under marginalization – the presence of a King (with all the privilege that is brought in there) challenges me to be present with balance, to honour my own intuition and wisdom, to be grounded in my own practice just as much as I centre the wisdom and knowledge of the person I am reading for. Sioban writes, “Power is a practice, a pose, a reciprocal biochemical signature that we can share with other humans or experience alone; it’s a privilege that we’ve taken for granted (and which we can use for good). Work with it. Acknowledge its misuse and, also, reclaim it.” I can bring this power into my work. And, in fact, I must bring that power into my work, or the spark won’t kindle into flame.

Card 4, Internal influences: The Sun.

What do I bring to the table? A fuckton of energy, is what. Joyful energy. Generative energy. Hot, bright, Leo Sun energy. I don’t associate myself with The Sun (or with my Leo sign) very often. I feel more Moon, more Cancer-rising. More dark, more watery, more gloom – there is a reason my alter ego is the Gloom Fairy. But there are moments when I know the fire in myself, and I know that this card is accurate. This project was deeply influenced by my energy, my desire to create and to be part of nurturing growth. I bring that fire to this project.

Card 5, External influences: The Tower.

Just like the Ten of Swords, when I flipped this card I immediately laughed in recognition. Fox and Owl Tarot is the product of a few things, one of which was a friend identifying a lack of queer, trans, and polyamory-friendly tarot readers in Calgary. But it is also the product of my ongoing search for ways to participate as a healer and support for people as we go through this calamitous time. Climate change, global economic and political turmoil, the resurgence of overt fascism… These are Tower times, and that external context is a huge influence in how I view this project and what I want to bring to my readings.

Card 6 and 7, Let go of and Move towards: Page of Cups and Queen of Pentacles.

These two cards came out together, so I am reading them as interchangeable in these positions. I think they both have insight to offer in both positions.

Page as card 6 – I’m not a newbie to the cards. This is not the beginning of my journey. I have a strong connection to my cards and to the practice of tarot, and to my narrative practice and my work as a community organizer. I can let go of my imposter syndrome and my anxiety that I don’t have anything worthwhile to offer yet.

Page as card 7 – I will always be a student of the cards. There is always more to learn, and embracing that fact and moving towards it will be a benefit to my work with Fox and Owl Tarot.

Queen as card 6 – Don’t worry so much about the money. I struggle under capitalism, especially right now with the costs of grad school and the challenges of launching my counselling business. I am constantly stressed about money. In this position, I see the Queen of Pentacles as an invitation to let go of some of that stress when it comes to Fox and Owl, and to just let the work evolve how it evolves.

Queen as card 7 – Move towards valuing my work. Recognize that my work with tarot is work and that it does have value. Don’t be afraid of bringing money into an interaction, especially if I maintain my commitment to sliding scale and accessibility. (This has been a bit focus of my shadow work – money shame and anxiety! I am actually putting together a zine on this topic, so if you’re interested in participating, let me know!)

I really loved this spread! The cards challenged me to think, connect to my stories of myself and my hopes for this project, and tie into the wisdom that already exists in the tarot community.

I feel hopeful, optimistic, and ready to launch.

Onward!

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Eight Useful Tarot Spreads Day 5: Snowflake spread

Today’s reading uses Evvie Marin of Interrobang Tarot‘s Snowflake spread from her ebook, Eight Useful Tarot Spreads for Times of Change and Resistance. This is the fourth spread in the book, so we’re half-way through this little tarot challenge I’ve set myself!

I did this reading for myself. I’ve had a challenging couple days (which is why you didn’t see this blog post yesterday!) and I’ve been feeling a bit down on myself. I’m “too emotional.” I’m “too busy.” I’m “too focused on my work.” I’m “too stressed out.” I “don’t have good boundaries.” And on and on and on – all these stories about myself that come swarming in when I’m low on spoons and high on stress.

I opted to draw all of these cards, rather than intentionally selecting any of them, though I can definitely see the benefit of doing this spread with a chosen card, too.

Image description: A seven card spread. At the centre is the Queen of Cups. Clockwise from the 12 position are: Three of Wands reversed, King of Wands, Wheel of Fortune, The Lovers, The Hermit, and Two of Wands. The deck is the Steampunk Tarot.

The positions, as described by Marin.

0. My Center: How is the weather in my core?

  1. I Spy: A pet weakness. Something I perceive within myself as troublesome or flawed.
  2. I Listen: What does it have to tell me? What is the hidden strength in it?
  3. You Spy: A trait others see as one of my weaknesses.
  4. I Adapt: How can I best adapt and turn this into a strength? Is it truly a weakness at all?
  5. Vulnerability: The nature/expression of my softness and vulnerability.
  6. Power: The nature/expression of my fortitude and personal power.

I laid the cards 1-6, and then 0 at the centre last, but I flipped them 0-6. (I was also, for some reason, so trepidatious with this spread! Even though I always approach tarot from the perspective that if it feels wrong, we can add cards, flip cards, switch cards – it is our story, and tarot helps us tell it. I don’t believe that the cards ever force us into a story that feels wrong or bad for us, though I do believe that often the cards invite us to consider things from different perspectives. Anyway, despite that approach, I still felt hesitant. Afraid that the cards would confirm everything my insecurities have been telling me over the last couple days.)

So, 0. The weather in my core. Queen of Cups. I am feeling all my feelings. Yes. Indeed I am.

1, my weakness. Three of Wands, reversed. What am I trying to do? What are my plans, what are my goals? Why can’t I see through the fog? In this deck, the Three of Wands is looking out across a foggy bay, three lights to illuminate the gloom and a spyglass to help map out next steps. Upright, this card is so adventurous, optimistic, hopeful. In fact, I pulled this card earlier today, upright, and it felt like a lovely invitation to plan! But pulling it reversed here, I absolutely recognized my own belief that my lack of “good planning” is a weakness. If I just had the right plans, I would have solved my financial insecurity. If I had the right plans, I would have a more balanced life. If I had the right plans, my chronic pain would be better managed and my health would be solid. Although I bring an awareness of systemic and structural issues into my therapy work and my activism, there is a persistent intenralized belief that I am somehow creating all my own problems by not planning well enough.

2, the hidden strength. King of Wands. In all my anxiety about not having “the right plans”, I obscure the fact that I am accomplishing a lot regardless. The fog may be heavy, but I’m still moving forward. In the guidebook for the Steampunk Tarot, the quote for this card is, “If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.” – Edith Wharton. And the core meaning is: “Someone who is driven by will, inspiration, and passion.” I may not have all the plans, but I do have will, inspiration, and passion.

3, what others perceive as a weakness. Wheel of Fortune. This one gets me right in my insecurities. The idea that people see me as flighty, fickle, unreliable. Flailing around – up today and down tomorrow.

4, adapting, turning this into a strength. The Lovers. Embrace my passionate self (echoing part of the King of Wands), and also trust the people around me, trust the connections that I’ve cultivated. I am a passionate person. I do spend a lot of time deep in my feels. It’s true that I can be up today and down tomorrow. But is that actually a weakness, or is that part of my hidden strength? The Lovers suggests that with the right people, it’s a strength. And those are the people I want to have in my life, and the people I want to be working with.

5, my softness and vulnerability. The Hermit. Too much time alone and I end up lost in anxiety, self-doubt, spiralling out into catastrophizing. The old stories about “always ending up alone” creep back. Too little time alone and I also end up lost in anxiety, self-doubt, and spiralling thoughts, dealing with newer stories about “always ending up a failure.” I need time alone. I need to bring softness to my solitude. And I also need to be aware of the difference between solitude and isolation, and my own vulnerability to old narratives about loneliness and rejection.

6, my fortitude and personal power. Two of Wands. The guidebook suggests asking, when this card comes up, “What feels bold? What ignites your passion? What connects to you to your spiritual roots?” Even when I’m not sure how to see the way forward, I’m able to access the bold, enthusiastic, passionate will that is such a strong part of me.

I found it interesting that the top half of the spread was all wands, the bottom was all majors, and that big cups energy in the centre. (Back when I was tarot blogging just for myself, I was over at Queen of Cups.) This tells me there’s a lot of movement and energy in my life right now, and a lot of that energy has to do with big, foundational changes. And I feel uncertain and off balance – which makes sense! This is a lot happening all at once.

I appreciate that this spread offers me a way to reframe what has felt like a weakness (my inability to handle all this swirling energy) into a strength (the ability to ground myself in connection and rely on my passion and inspiration). It’s storming out, but I’ve got plenty of fire.

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Eight Useful Tarot Spreads Day 4: Toolkit spread

Today’s post is a review of the Toolkit tarot spread from Evvie Marin’s Eight Useful Tarot Spreads for Times of Change and Resistance.

I stayed with the theme of navigating despair and discouragement. The spread is meant to help the reader recognize, utilize, and uncover tools and resources.

So let’s jump into the toolkit and see what’s available to help us build our way out of the discouragement.

First of all, I really love this spread. I appreciate all the variations that Marin’s post offers, and I love the way it brings three separate spreads together and allows for reading them together or individually.

I also loved this reading. Sometimes the deck is just so gentle and helpful. I hope you find some help (and some hope) here too.

Image description: A nine-card spread, laid out in three rows of three. The top row is Page of Pentacles, The Emperor, Five of Swords. The middle row is Five of Pentacles, Six of Swords, Six of Cups. The bottom row is Two of Cups, Knight of Cups, Four of Swords.

The top shelf (row) of the toolkit:

To Fix: Page of Pentacles. We can mend our sense of hopeful movement towards stability and a more just material world. The Page of Pentacles here invites us to repair and renew our curiousity, our willingness to try something new, and our enthusiasm for resisting injustice and building something better.

To Break: The Emperor. Oh, how my heart loves this. Break that pattern of imperialism, colonialism, patriarchy. Break the habits of control and power being privileged over justice. Break the systems of privilege that harm us all.

To Measure: Five of Swords. Assess where we are at risk, where we are under threat, where we are in conflict. And also assess where we are not. Where we can resist conflict, where we can choose collaboration.

The middle shelf (row) of the toolkit:

A Talent: Five of Pentacles. The Five of Pentacles is about scarcity, material lack, necessary resources that feel out of reach. For those of us on the margins, struggling with despair and discouragement and with scarcity and lack (especially the intergenerational poverty faced by Black and Indigenous folks), we have been learning how to live within scarcity our whole lives. We are able to weave safety nets out of the thin threads available to us, and that’s magical. But I also think that this points to a talent for seeing things as they are. We can recognize where the scarcity is artificially imposed.

A Resource: Six of Swords. This position in the spread is about external resources, and this card is also about accessing help and external resources. Other people (other communities, other folks within our communities, perhaps even accomplices outside of our communities), may be able to help us build our way out. Who has insight we could benefit from? Who has energy, time, space, or material resources that could help us? This card invites us to ask.

A Skill: Six of Cups. We have such deep roots in our communities. We have strong connections to our joy and our dreams. Holding onto those dreams is a skill. It is something we have had to develop over time. Every survival strategy, every coping mechanism that we have cultivated over our lives, has roots and we have tended to those roots. We have built these skills. And now we can draw on them to help us build our way out of discouragement.

The bottom shelf (row) of the toolkit:

What’s Hidden: Two of Cups. There is connection available to us. Balanced, wholehearted, joyful connection. Relationship. Friendship. Community. Sometimes it’s hidden – despair and discouragement leave us feeling isolated and alone. The connection available to us sometimes ends up hidden. And I think that sometimes call out culture contributes to this, too (and ties this card to the Five of Swords).

How to Unlock It: Knight of Cups. We can unlock that connection and community by going after it, pursuing it, turning our focus on it and keeping it as a goal for ourselves. Fight the isolation of discouragement by actively pursuing connection.

Where to Apply It: Four of Swords. Ah, friends. Can we rely on our communities to enable us in resting and renewing ourselves? Wow. What a beautiful invitation. Working together, leaning on each other, feeling safe together – it can allow us to access peace, rest, renewal.

I love this spread.

And I really love reading tarot.

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Eight Useful Tarot Spreads: Day 3 Emotional Arrow

Today’s review is of the Emotional Arrow tarot spread from Evvie Marin’s Interrobang Tarot ebook, Eight Useful Tarot Spreads for Times of Change and Resistance. I drew this spread for all of us on the margins who are currently experiencing despair and discouragement over the economic, political, and ecological climate.

This group of despairing humans includes me – I have been following the pipeline debate in this land currently called Canada, where colonial governments are colluding to force Indigenous nations to allow the pipeline in their unceded land… it is a collision of economic, political, and ecological issues that leaves me, and many people in my communities, feeling more despair than usual. And in other places on this hurting world, there are other sources of despair and discouragement. And across all of these spaces, the long shadow of white capitalist colonialism stretches.

So, today, as I came to my table and my tarot and my weeklong review of Marin’s generously shared spreads, I thought – perfect. Let’s see if the cards have any wisdom for this experience of despair and discouragement.

This spread is for us, all of us who are witnessing injustice and oppression, and feeling hopeless.

Image description: A tarot spread, showing the reversed Ace of Pentacles, The Hanged Man, reversed Seven of Cups, reversed Ace of Wands, The Empress, and the Six of Pentacles. The deck is the Steampunk Tarot.

First, I named the emotion: despair and discouragement. Marin suggests not using this spread while you’re in the grip of an intense emotion, so I set my intention early this morning but I didn’t actually pull the cards until this afternoon, after I’d spent some time outside, and after I’d had a good meal.

The source (what prompted this emotion? what lies at the root of it?): Two of Pentacles reversed. When I flipped this card, all I could do was sigh. Yes, of course. This despair and discouragement does come from the lack of balance. Wealth inequality. Power inequality. Racism and white supremacy. Ongoing colonialism. Capitalism. There is no balance here – there’s no honouring of Indigenous sovereignty and land rights, there’s no honouring of marginalized lives and knowledges, there’s no respect, there’s no balance.

The impact (how is this emotion effecting us now?): The Hanged Man. We feel stuck. Helpless. But I also think that this card references the way witnessing these injustices, which are consistently denied and dismissed by people in power or people who are invested in maintaining the current power structures, seems to flip the world upside down. Sometimes this can feel like we’re crazy – the kyriarchy (that complex web of intersecting privileges and marginalizations that impacts each of us) does a good job of gaslighting anyone who tries to speak about injustice. But The Hanged Man here is a reminder that we are seeing things clearly – we are just looking at them from a different angle. We have our Social Justice Goggles on, and it gives us a whole new perspective on the world we are inhabiting and witnessing. Our despair leaves us feeling strung up and stuck, but it also has the effect of opening our eyes.

How to navigate this emotion (how can we better harness, navigate, and channel this emotion?): Seven of Cups reversed. The Seven of Cups can be about wishful thinking, too many choices, confusion. There is a lot of wishful thinking when it comes to economic, political, and ecological despair. The idea that we can “positive think” our way out of intergenerational poverty or the eroding social security net. The myth of bootstrapping ourselves into prosperity. The lie that racism is a thing of the past, or that equality has been achieved. In our despair and discouragement, it can be so tempting to wriggle out of the uncomfortable Hanged Man clarity and dive into all those promising, lying cups. But we can resist that. We can let those cups pour out on the ground, and work towards something better, something more true and more real and more just.

The message (what is this emotion trying to tell us?): Ace of Wands reversed. We don’t get a clean slate. We don’t get to start fresh. There is no shiny new beginning. In our despair and our discouragement is the awareness that we bring our baggage with us – that as we move forward through these difficult times, and as we challenge and resist these many injustices, we will also bring forward the echoes of our own existence within unjust systems. We will bring our internalized bigotry, our toxic narratives, our histories of complicity. But knowing that, we can resist, we can unlearn and relearn, we can change. No clean slate, but that doesn’t mean no growth.

The target (best outcome/goal of working constructively with this emotion): The Empress. The best outcome of our working through (and with) these emotions is renewed creativity and growth. I love the way this works with the reversed Ace of Wands. The Empress is not brand new energy – she’s grown. She knows herself, knows her power, is connected to her creativity. And although I think the naming of this card is a warning – how will we challenge injustice, which is tied to imperialism, when the best available outcome is The Empress?! – I also think that we can queer this card (link is to an article on Little Red Tarot by Cassandra Snow about queering the Emperor and Empress). If we allow ourselves to feel our despair and our discouragement, and we allow these emotions to motivate us to seek change – to use our power to challenge and resist injustice (maybe even to look to women rulers who have resisted anglo imperialism, like Lakshmibai, who resisted British rule in India) – we can connect to our creative, generative power. We can make a difference. We can build something better.

Overkill (how does this emotion mislead us? how might it take us too far?): Six of Pentacles. But our despair and discouragement might mislead us, too. Might have us begging for scraps from the people who already hold too much power. The source of our despair is the lack of balance, and if we try to survive these feelings of scarcity, lack, and precarity by appeasing those in power and hoping they’ll share some of their wealth… well, we’ve tried that. And it doesn’t work. And it always leaves the most vulnerable more vulnerable.

Our despair is real, and valid. What we are feeling is based in a true experience of injustice, and we despair because we want justice – we want balance and a more fair world. Our despair can leave us feeling trapped, unable to move forward, but it can also motivate us to create new ways of being. We don’t have to beg for scraps from systems that have always been built to oppress. We can build something better.

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Book review: Eight Useful Tarot Spreads for Times of Resistance & Change

Image description: A tarot spread on a wooden table. There is a London Fog in an octopus mug in the top left corner, and The Steampunk Tarot deck in the top right. In the centre of the photo is a six-card spread including the reversed King of Wands, The Sun, The Moon, The Magician, the Eight of Swords, and The Lovers.

I recently discovered Interrobang Tarot, Evvie Marin’s website, and I am so excited about adding her blog to my regular reading. (Her most recent post is an in-depth interview with Krystal Banner, the creator of the Kaleidadope Tarot, so you know the content is going to be quality.)

This post is the first in a series of eight, which will all combine to be a comprehensive review of her ebook, Eight Useful Tarot Spreads for Times of Resistance & Change. This was originally going to be just one post reviewing the book and diving into the WTF?! spread, but as I got into the writing I realized two things:

  1. It’s been a while since I did a tarot challenge, and since I’m still getting over being sick and I’m struggling with this neverending winter and with some feelings of hopelessness and despair over the state of our economic and political and ecological climate, eight days of tarot for times of resistance and change is exactly what I need.
  2. It will be good practice for me, and since I’m going to be opening up the shop for tarot readings soon, that’s perfect!

So tonight is just the beginning of a mini journey that we can take together, tarot friends. If you want to come along for the ride, consider finding me on Facebook or Instagram and sharing your own results in the comments!

Now, the overview/intro review.

First of all, this is one of the most user-friendly online books I’ve encountered. It’s easy to navigate, with links on each page to get you where you need to be, and simple buttons for moving through. (I do wish there was a PDF version, but that’s mostly because I like gazing at my ebook collection sometimes when I’m procrastinating. I find it almost as soothing as looking at my bookshelves.)

The book is described as:

A collection of eight tarot spreads that lend themselves towards introspection and self-care in times of difficulty, resistance, and rapid change.

It delivers.

Even though Marin says that the book won’t include much 101 information, each spread is written in a welcoming, encouraging, and educational tone. There are little tidbits about how you might interpret certain types of cards in certain positions, without coming across as dogmatic and prescriptive. It feels like a book that has something to offer brand new readers or folks with more experience, and that’s just a lovely thing.

My favourite part about the beginning of the book is the way that Marin clearly positions herself and the book within capitalism, while also resisting and undermining capitalist expectations. The book is available for free for any solo tarot practioners (with an option to make a donation to support her art, writing, and other work), and if folks will be using the spreads with clients (like I will be, I hope!), we are asked to pay for it. I love this model, which is both generous and acknowledges the role of capitalism in our lives.

I also really appreciated the Doom and Gloom section of the book, which acknowledges that these spreads might bring up difficult feelings for folks, and normalizes those strong responses without shaming or minimizing them. Giving people explicit permission to step away from a tarot spread if it starts to feel too intense is so important, especially when we’re intentionally working with difficult topics.

I’m going to be going through the book over the next week, trying out each of the spreads and writing them up.

This evening I tried out the WTF?! spread, and I found it really helpful! I’ll try this spread again later this week, and write it up in more detail, but tonight’s summary is this:

I have a lot of energy, but I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and failing to make progress (The Sun crossing the reversed King of Wands). There is magic, intuition, new paths for me to walk here, but it’s complex, challenging, and hard to decipher (The Moon). Relying on myself and refusing to ask for (or accept) help is making it hard for me to see the way forward (The Magician, and the Eight of Swords). I can ask for help, find more stability by allowing myself to lean into my connections, and I can also invite more pleasure and comfort into my life, which is always hard for me when I am feeling the pressure to “be productive” (The Lovers).  Lots of big energy in this spread, which makes sense because I really have been feeling an intense amount of “wtf?!” lately. Four out of six cards are majors! Big energy, for sure.

Tomorrow, I’ll post the Balancing Action spread!